The Other Mother: A wickedly honest parenting tale for every kind of family

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I first saw her on one of the 'Live from the Appollo' shows. I was about to go out to work on a night shift and I ended up crying laughing, and I can't remember the last time I did that!!!

It is important to point out before I start this review that I don't actually have kids but I do a) work with children and b) enjoy reading, so those are my main qualifications for this book review. Brister studied drama at Middlesex University, London, where, in the mid-1990s, she took a course in stand-up comedy, the only one of its kind at the time in the UK. Other famous graduates include Alan Carr, Dan Renton Skinner of the Dutch Elm Conservatoire and Shooting Stars, and Clare Warde of the Runaway Lovers. Brister's first gig was at the end of her third year at university in 1996, [7] at the King's Head in Crouch End, London. I had one of those asymmetric haircuts for a while. I thought I looked so cool. I remember going to my mum’s house and her answering the door saying: “I think your hairdresser hates you.” The funniest joke I’ve ever heard … Both self-employed, my partner and I were able to share the role of primary carer 50/50. We did this because it was important for me to be as involved as I could, but we’re also fortunate as a lesbian couple that there is no societal expectation as to which one of us should stay at home. I’m not saying that because we are two women, the way we share childcare is better... OK, I am.

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From that premise, Jen Brister gives a lot in this book - a lot of honesty, a lot of laughter (some of it fairly dark), a lot of appraisal both of herself and her girlfriend Chloe, the process of IVF, the whole tedious conversation about the family dynamic initiated by cishet folk on a monotonous and regular basis, about the myths, the truths, the bullshit woo-pressures of being a parent to two kids simultaneously, and about doing it a) slightly later on the human energy curve than might be ideal (she was 40 when the kids were born, and is strikingly honest about the energy-sapping reality of that), and b) while struggling to turn herself from a barely self-supporting circuit comic and responsibility-repellant into a savings-possessor, known name in comedy and responsibily-facer-upper. Bottom line, it's a book which in no way sets out to make her especially likeable, but through which her likeability seeps anyway, almost against her will. It's a book of laughter, logic and love which gives the hearty finger to pretentiousness and guff - which frankly feels like just the right mood with which to scream towards 2020. Recommended, this one. If you're a parent, some of it will strike shivers of remembrance or cameraderie fown your spine. If you're not, you'll still enjoy it while feeling slightly smug. The first thing I'd like to say is that for the full experience of this book you really need to watch some of Jen Brister's comedy first (try this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0eeK...). She has such a distinct way with words that once she's in your head she will continue to narrate not only the rest of the book for you but, probably, the rest of your life. You're welcome. Didn't know a lot about Jen Bristow before listening to this book. Knew she was funny, and am fairly sure I knew she had at least one son, having caught part of a set she did on Live At The Apollo. For what this is worth, also knew she was part of a group of comedians I instinctively like - a pal of Sara Pascoe, Sarah Millican, Suzi Ruffel and Jessica Fostekew. I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be to raise twins, regardless of any other hurdles or added complications that may come with anyone's personal situation, whether that be through IVF conception or prematurity or parental disagreements. Quite frankly, this book has given me a deeper appreciation for not only the parents that I work with but also of literally any parent that I see pushing a pram down the high street.

This book explains a lot more about her life than I knew. Yes, she's a mother of, as it happens, twin sons (now around 4 or 5 years old), but the meaning of the title is that she's a lesbian in a committed relationship, whose girlfriend was the bio-carrier of the boys, so Brister has always seen herself as their 'other' mother. I did enjoy Brister’s snide comments on preachy parents and mumfluencers- as an absolute cynic, I’m here for that! Brister's first role in a feature film was in the horror film Lair, directed by Adam Ethan Crow. [24] Personal life [ edit ]

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As you would expect from a comedian, Brister writes with wit and peppers her narrative with funny episodes. Her tone is honest and open, inviting the reader to empathise and engage with her and her situations. I particularly enjoyed the times when she wrote about being a non-biological parent - the careless assumptions of others, her feelings as she bonded with her sons, the way she viewed her partner as a mother - as these made the book original and heartwarming. Cutting Edge Of Comedy - competition review". Metro.co.uk. 12 August 2002. Archived from the original on 23 September 2012.

Once, when they were very small, I took our boys to a café. They were both crying and I was coping as best I could: changing their nappies on a chair and wrestling to pour expressed milk into a flask. A woman approached me. ‘Hi, I’m sorry, but my friends and I have been watching you for ages and I just wanted to say...’ she started. Oh God – what? I thought. ‘We think you’re a hero! We can’t imagine how much work twins must be.' Comedian Jen Brister writes about her personal experience of motherhood from the time she and her partner Chloe decide to have children, through the birth of their twin sons and those early sleepless nights, up to the boys reaching four years old. She shares the highs and lows of that time, the expectations of others and also her own misguided expectations, and how what she has learned in that time has shaped her current perspective. She is a regular performer on the UK and international comedy circuits and has written and performed on BBC Radio 4’s The News Quiz, The Now Show and presented for BBC 6 Music.

Hawkins, Si (8 November 2018). "First Gig, Worst Gig - Jen Brister". comedy.co.uk . Retrieved 28 May 2019. We’d chosen to go down the IVF route and use sperm from a bank rather than from someone we knew. I felt completely fine about becoming a parent without the biological connection, but I did have some neurosis about whether my children would like me. I’ll be honest with you: lots of people don’t. I needn’t have worried, though, because as soon as they were born, I realised that these gorgeous _(_prune-faced) little lads needed me more than I could have ever imagined, and I was compelled to rise to the challenge of being their parent. Brister was born in Kingston upon Thames, Greater London, in 1975 to an English father and a Spanish mother. She has three brothers. [2] Brister was raised as a Catholic [3] and went to all girls' Ursuline High School, Wimbledon. [4] She then went on to Richmond College. [5] Her Spanish-born mother is a frequent target of her comedy shows. [6] Stand-up career [ edit ] Why a targeted screening programme for a common virus could help new born babies with hearing loss. It's called CMV. Most of us have had it, harmlessly...it feels like a cold but if you're pregnant it can have serious consequences - most commonly deafness. It's more common than Down's affecting 1000 babies a year in Britain but few health professionals know about it. Paediatrician, Dr Tamsin Brown has gathered health professionals together in the East of England and set up a targeted screening programme which she hopes will support the case for nationwide screening.