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Debbie Dumplings Magical Adventures

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In fact, she’s a pale, plus-sized, middle-aged woman with short hair and a rather low-hanging pair of size 46J breasts.

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She just did a lot of stuff, including smearing her boobs in lotion and smearing my face in it, taking off her knickers and sitting on my face. The kitchen/ dining room / TV area (yes we have television too) is huge- great for pres and film nights, sometimes simultaneously. The Toon's well-known stripper, Debbie Dumpling, hit up another Newcastle house party, this time a second year's birthday organised by friends.I'm an entertainer, I'm not just there to entertain the hen or whoever, there's the crowd to think about. When you hear the word ‘stripper’ you probably think of a buff girl/ guy with fake boobs/ a six pack and a tight behind. But none of that matters to a true Ricky Roader because living here is the big triangular-windowed land of opportunity. Really, it’s lovely of them to give you such a useless kitchen as it’s another catalyst for breaking the ice with your flat mates. The facilities are extremely useful, with a 24 hour laundry, a reception open five days a week, and a café, all across the road!

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And to me a "fabulous jaunt" to Iceland sounds a bit too similar to trudging through mud in sub-zero Northumbrian weather, which sounds shit. Rated as the fifth best Newcastle accommodation in the StudentCrowd Hall Rankings, Central Link is a popular choice amongst students who are looking for spacious, modern and city-central flats. An unsuspecting Ricky Road fresher got more than just an eyeful after Debbie Dumpling turned up to his 19th birthday party in halls. Mary’s residents will be reluctant to pay for the bus every day, and so it’s a jolly two-mile walk to uni. When you decide not to head out to the clubs, reliable and speedy Wi-Fi connection ensures that listening to your Spotify playlists, watching Netflix (and completing all of your uni work of course) has never been easier.The proximity to campus and the city centre attracts many but only a lucky few get to stay in the newly upgraded flats of Havelock Hall aka Rah Country.

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