My Sister is Sleeping

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Out of nowhere, I would jump from behind her bed and scream. As you can imagine, this caused quite a reaction. It scared the hell out of her, time and time again.

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Sometimes, at night, when my little sister and brother were already in bed and my elder sister didn’t want to play with me, I got bored with ways of entertaining myself. So occasionally, I would quietly sneak into their room, while they were still awake. My sister slept in a loft bed. At her feet, there was a big chair. My creative brain had invented the ultimate sport: get to that chair without getting noticed by her. This was a incredibly slow process, because my sister would be able to catch me with every potential noise I would make. If she simply turned her head and glanced over at the floor she would see me. Sometimes I would lie down on the floor for minutes without moving. Sometimes I would only move one limb per minute. Disappointed with this new piece of information, I decided to confide in her. I told her of my fantastic experiment. She didn’t seem quite as enthusiastic. Clearly, she just wasn’t the kind of person who would recognise the value and beauty of a good science experiment when it is right in front of her. Parts of me say "NO!" to a brother-sister love relationship, and other parts of me simply ask, "Why?" Great thought went into what word I would use. I thought about using a boy’s name from her school, but this was too big a risk. She might not want to share that with me the next day. It should be a word that normally wouldn’t necessarily be in her dreams, but would be very recognizable.One thing I think is strange is that when I found out what happened with my sister, I had a feeling overload, but when I realized something might have happened to me as well, I became apathetic. I withdrew a lot in that period and almost lost my best friend, I couldn't go through with my studies. I felt "used up", like I wasn't worth anything.

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I am very cautious with guys and sex and relationships. My sister is actually a lot more open. I have read that both can be typical traits. I don't like feeling I don't have control over myself, and usually avoid situations were I can end up feeling that way. At the same time I am a lot more confident in myself now, I feel like I respect myself more. So I guess that even if something happened that night or not, I am in a healing process. I was about 13 years old and she was about 11 at the time. My family didn’t discuss sexual stuff so I had never experienced masturbation to cope with teenage hormones. My Sister and I slept in the same bedroom, in bunk beds – her on top bed and I on the bottom bed. One night I was especially horny and all I could think about was my sister’s pussy and it being so close to me. I listened carefully to her breathing and decided that I would play with my sister’s pussy while she slept I decided that the best way to test my theory, was by whispering one word over and over again in my sister’s ear. The next day, I would ask her what she had dreamt about. It was a fail-safe plan. When I woke up this morning, I was still spooning her while she was sleeping. I got up and made myself breakfast. That's when it me - what if she was sleep-talking or something. WHat if I imagined what she said. I feel guilty because I know I shouldn't have slept on the same bed as her. Man, this might be an awkward conversation because we don't get along and if I tell her... yeah.If you come across any egregious bugs or typos, please let me know. I try to proofread and play-test thoroughly, but I'm only one person and things can slip past me. The sexual relationship between siblings is always known as taboo; it's called incest, imbreeding, sexual abuse depending on the older sibling's age, and is simply seen as disgusting. This type of love between siblings was in all ways seen as forbidden. At first, I completely agreed with all who thought this. Mainly for two reasons; 1) Well, to me it was just simply disturbing. You grow up with this particular person....maybe even develop in the womb with him/her....and go through many hardships and enjoyment with him/her as children. But once your reach your teenage years or adulthood; you start having sex with him/her? That would seem quite awkward at the least. My second reason is the children that can result from this type of affair. Now I'm not trying to say that a child borne from something like this is a "mistake". I whole heartedly believe that no child is a "mistake". But I am concerned about what a child born from any type of incestuous relationship will face during his or her life. Children from incest are known to have severe deformities due to the DNA of his/her parents being so familiar. Also, if one were to find out that the child's parents were siblings, father and daughter, mother and son, relatives in any area....imagine the stigma that child will carry. Numerous people will end up knowing (because we all know how much of a gossiper each person can be) about how this child was born, and of course many would create harsh judgments on the child and his/her family. This will more than likely emotionally traumatize the child.