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The Best Ever Book of Portuguese Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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I guess the idea here is that you laugh so hard that your body can’t physically bear it and sort of bursts open (on one end or the other). 22. Cheio de nove horas

Why was the Portuguese dictionary always making new friends? Because it had so many “words” to share! I’ve had all the tests, and the doctor tells me there’s no question, I’m xenophobic. That’s another bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.” Generally, the Portuguese are easy going, tolerant and very welcoming of visitors to Portugal. Just be decent and polite to them and they will treat you graciously with all the Portuguese hospitality they are known for. Welcome to the colorful and occasionally rambunctious world of European Portuguese slang and those words your Portuguese grandma might gasp at! Whether you’re a language enthusiast, a curious traveller, or just in it for a bit of naughty fun, this guide is your secret handshake into the playful side of European Portuguese. Dutch husband to Dutch wife: “Put your coat on, dear.” “Why, darling, are we going out?” “No, I am. So I’ll just turn the heating off.”

Say the right things and you’ll go far

But when lawyers at GLAN suggested suing governments via the European Court of Human Rights, he hesitated. He wasn't sure what a lawsuit was, only that it was "something adults did to each other." Mein Hund jagte immer Leuten auf dem Fahrrad hinterher,bis ich ihm das Fahrrad wegnahm! 10. TBH we don’t really get this one The six youths crowdfunded to help finance the lawsuit. GLAN put it together and filed it with the Strasbourg court, part of the Council of Europe. Brazil famously uses the word bicha to mean queer whereas that means a queue or line in Portugal. In Brazil, they use the word fila.

Portuguese jokes are a great way to have some fun and learn about the Portuguese culture. Here are some of our favorites: Why was Portugal the best colonial power? Spain had thousands of colonists, Britain had millions, but Portugal had BRAZILIANS. Why did the Portuguese tourist bring a pencil to the beach? In case they wanted to draw a line in the sand! They continued to explore and look for trade around the world, from Africa, passing through Arabia, and reaching Japan, where they built the city of Nagasaki. Several outposts were made along the way, many of them having developed into colonies, such as Goa, Daman, Diu and East Timor.Welcome to our collection of funny Portuguese jokes. If you’re looking for a laugh, you’ve come to the right place. Portuguese people are known for their sense of humor, so it’s no surprise that there are plenty of great Portuguese jokes out there.

From then on, Portugal was a minor power in Europe, having just some colonies in Africa and Asia and never becoming an economic powerhouse. But it… Survived? What a do a bunch of people in Brazil speak? Portuguese. What does just one Brazilian speak? Portugoose. I told you it was a tad crude! That said, you’d only be judged for using this phrase in a business or otherwise formal environment. 19. Com o pé nas costas These were, first, the belief that Portugal was a transcontinental country, a single unitary nation, not a colonial empire, and second, that the colonization made by the Portuguese was better than the other European nations, since they came from a warmer climate and were themselves a miscegenation of several peoples, which made them more humane, friendly and adaptable to other cultures. This lead to the end of Estado Novo and the 25 th April Revolution, which has as one of their main points of action to decolonize. This led to a hasty decolonization of Portuguese Africa, making many of the countries enter a civil war and to the 1975 invasion of East Timor by Indonesia, to which the subsequent Portuguese governments were vehemently opposed to.

5. Apparently crimes work better in rural places

What’s a Portuguese pirate’s favorite letter? “P,” because it’s like “Aye!” but with a Portuguese twist.

The media attention has sometimes been too much, because we have to so much to do at school and work," says Mota. "We try to do what we can because we really want to win. It is our future." Especially if you’re sitting in a café with your friends. If you are talking loudly about things you don’t like about Portugal or the Portuguese, you may be asked to politely go home! The Portuguese Colonial Empire was the starter of this all and this is a legacy that no country would want for themselves… Trade You “pull a John-the-armless” whenever you pretend you can’t or don’t know how to do something in the hope that someone else will do it for you. We were going to demonstrations and rallies, posting stuff online, trying to make others aware," André says. "It didn't seem like it was enough."

7. Many years turning chickens

After this regime went down, the Estado Novo gave a huge importance to the colonies, renaming them to “overseas province”, as a way to soften, but retaining the regime of quasi-slavery of forced indigenous labor while spreading the ideology of “Pluricontinentalism” and “Lusotropicalism”. Why did the Portuguese pastry chef always bring a ladder to the bakery? To make sure his pastéis de nata were truly “heavenly”! As a native speaker, I may not be exactly impartial when I say Portuguese is among the funniest languages out there. Yet, those of you who’ve already taken to studying it should be able to agree with me. Nem que a vaca tussa, or “when a cow coughs”, is the Portuguese equivalent of “when hell freezes over” — except it sounds a lot funnier.

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