The Hairy Bikers’ Brilliant Bakes

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Si and Dave have been on a mission. They've travelled the world to discover the very best meat-free recipes that shake off the dull and add the delicious. There's no meaty sacrifice here, just fantastic food. First, make the pastry. Put the flour in a bowl with a good pinch of salt and add the butter and lard, if using. Rub the fat in until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs, then add all but a tablespoon of the egg. If using the Marmite, whisk it into the milk, then drizzle this into the pastry, mixing until you have a firm dough. Alternatively, just add enough milk to bind the pastry together, making sure it isn’t crumbly. To assemble, spread the pastry base with the mustard. Top with the sausage meat, pressing it down to compact it, then spread the apple mixture on top. Roll out the remaining pastry and use it to make a lid. Brush the edges with beaten egg and crimp them together. Brush the top of the pie with egg and cut a couple of vents in the centre to release steam. But they are wary of overthinking their relationship. Myers shares a story he once heard “about an old sage” who, appropriately enough, “had a big long beard. And somebody came to him and said: ‘Master, do you sleep with your beard under the sheets or over the sheets?’ And from that moment on the fella never had a good night’s sleep.”

Myers butts in. “My wife said the same thing. ‘I’ll shave mine out of support.’ I said: ‘Don’t do that because, then, you do realise, we can’t go out together?’ Not being sexist, but I think [baldness] is easier for a bloke.” I usually avoid celebrity cookbooks, but The Hairy Bikers’ Brilliant Bakes is an all-round winner. A perfect Christmas gift, but buy two. You will want to keep one. Over the years, they have both had illnesses and accidents: Myers life-threatening pneumonia, King an aneurism. And Myers also had the pain of losing his fiancee, who died of cancer in 1998. Have these experiences helped him to cope with his cancer? For the Hairy Bikers, nothing says love and home like the smell of a cake in the oven, a homemade loaf or a hearty, freshly baked pie. He was studying the pre-Raphaelites at the time, “fascinated by the decadent Victorians”, and craved a lavish cascade of hair, but “I had nothing! I couldn’t get a corkscrew curl to save my life!” he says. The alopecia did help to make his recent hair loss feel livable, though. “I just said to my wife: ‘Oh shit, get the clippers out. I’m done with this.’ It was harder for her to do, because she’d never seen me with no hair. But she did come out with a great line when my eyebrows went. She said: ‘Darling, you look like they pulled you out the mould before you’d finished.’”To assemble the pie, press about a third of the cheese mixture over the base layer of pastry. Top with a layer of potatoes, then repeat with another layer of the cheese mixture. Add a second layer of potatoes, then top with the remaining cheese mixture. Press everything down quite firmly. Turn the dough out on to a lightly floured work surface and knead very briefly until smooth. Divide it in half and roll each piece into a log of about 4cm in diameter. Wrap and chill in the fridge for an hour. Myers wants to return to work next year. “I’m hoping. Hand on my heart, I am. It’s going to take work and physiotherapy to get myself stronger,” he says. “But that’s going to be a hell of a day. That pizza down the pub is going to be quite special.” Myers can relate. His daughter is in the process of buying a first flat and confronting the “possibility that the mortgage may double”. As a student, he used to sit in Karl Marx’s chair at the British Library – was that a statement of ideology? “No,” he says, “it was nothing political.” He just thought it was cool. When Myers began chemo, did King consider shaving his head in sympathy? ‘If he’d asked us, I probably would have’

I certainly am now, given the hand that’s been dealt me this year,” Myers says. “I think about the past with huge, great jealousy, and affection. Watching some of our old episodes on the telly when I’m ill, I don’t look like myself. And I look at myself there with my best mate, thinking, you know … I remember I said to Lil, ‘That used to be me.’ ‘No,’ she said. ‘That is you.’” But over the seven months since his diagnosis in late March, it must have been hard to keep his old self in mind. The Hairy Bikers’ Brilliant Bakes has a lovely selection of breads too. There is a simple Sourdough loaf; Cheese and Chorizo Tear-and-Share Buns are perfect for lunch; Cinnamon Rolls make a great breakfast and especially when one has weekend guests; Lahmacun is a topped flatbread so a meal in itself. First, make the pastry. Put the flour and baking powder in a bowl and add a generous pinch of salt. Add the butter and the suet or lard and rub them into the flour until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Add the egg and just enough cold water to make a firm dough.

For King and Myers, there is no such thing as on- and off-camera selves. “As Dave often says, we’re not complicated enough to be anyone else,” King says. Put the flour, butter and a generous pinch of salt in a food processor and process until completely combined – the mixture should go just beyond the fine breadcrumbs stage and start clumping together. Add the cheese and process again until the mixture forms into a dough. You can do all this by hand if you prefer, of course. I tell you,” Myers says, “I’ll feel I’ve made it when I get the all-clear from this bloody cancer. That’s going to be completely life-changing, life-affirming. And life never will be the same again.” Born and bred in Barrow-in-Furness, Dave Myers' versatile skills have taken him to some unusual places. He worked in a steelworks as a student, to finance his studies in Fine Arts, and later joined the BBC as a make-up artist, specialising in prosthetics. Dust your work surface with flour. Take two-thirds of the dough and roll it out to fill a 20cm round cake or pie tin. Put the pastry-lined tin and the remaining dough in the fridge to chill until ready to fill.

No, I’ve had enough,” he replies. “I thought I’d paid my dues when I was a kid with my mother. And I’ve got the hugest respect for my wife for putting up with me. I’m a … what’s the word? I get angry with myself, and I try to keep it to myself, but sometimes – you know, words spill over, which I feel guilty about. But no, I don’t think it helps you cope at all.”

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Si and Dave have made it even easier - and more delicious - to eat meat free. These recipes are a real turnip for the books ... so get cooking and enjoy.

Myers says he is proud of King for his work this year, but has King felt less of a hairy biker for being alone? “Wow. No?” he asks, folding his arms. “How do I answer that?” When they worked as crew, Myers and King were aware of performers as “the talent”, and I wonder at what point they realised they had become the talent. “We never have,” King says immediately. “Never have,” Myers agrees. In fact, when they filmed one of the first BBC programmes, the crew went for pizza, and “I got kind of nervous. I said to the director: ‘Have we pissed the crew off? Nobody’s asked us for supper.’ He said: ‘Normally the talent don’t eat with the crew.’ It broke the ice. But that wasn’t us at all. Crikey, no.” At last, vegetarian and vegan food Bikers' style! In this brand-new collection of down-to-earth yet satisfying meat-free dishes, Si and Dave have gathered together their most hearty and warming comfort food ... that just happen to be vegetarian ! Triple tested, with maximum taste and minimum fuss, these recipes are simply epic.Si and Dave met on the set of a TV drama in 1995 and have been cooking and riding together ever since. They have now written 30 cookbooks, includingUltimate Comfort Food, Eat Well Every Day, Brilliant Bakes, Simple Healthy Food, Veggie Feasts, One Pot Wonders, British Classics, Mediterranean Adventure, Mums Know Best, Bakeation, Meat Feasts and 12 Days of Christmas. In 2012, the boys shed more than six stone between them on The Hairy Dieters: How to Love Food and Lose Weight. It’s easy to imagine the evening unspooling as they discovered their common ground – there is so much of it. Both were bullied as children: King for his weight, Myers for alopecia. Both came from families of “grafters” – King’s dad working on ships, Myers’ at the paper mill in Barrow-in-Furness. Both had much older siblings, and seriously ill parents: King was eight when his father died, while Myers’ mother was diagnosed with MS when he was seven. But, no, they say, they didn’t talk about any of this. That was the great thing about writing their 2015 autobiography, Blood, Sweat and Tyres, King says. “We found out quite a lot about each other.” For the Hairy Bikers, nothing says love and home like the smell of a cake in the oven, a homemade loaf or a freshly baked pie. From the ultimate veggie curries to the perfect crowd-pleasing tray bakes, satisfying soups, pastas and pies to a veggie twist on burgers, barbecues and a banging breakfast brunch, The Hairy Bikers' Veggie Feasts is bursting with meat-free delights you'll turn to time and time again, all made with ingredients that can be bought easily and won't cost the earth. With their unique blend of tasty recipes, cheeky humour and irresistible enthusiasm, the Hairy Bikers have become Britain's favourite food heroes.