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It’s trouble enough to play with cheaters. Just imagine how terrifying it is to play with cheetahs! 19. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands! My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf It’s a supplies closet after all. 14. My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punchline. We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story. Oceans like making waves. 13. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no, but I could perform Bohemian Rhapsody. A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, “I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.” The patient asks him, “Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him and says, “Nine.” verifyErrors }}{{ message }}{{ /verifyErrors }}{{ It made us laugh. But more importantly, we knew it would’ve made our dad laugh. For most of his life (or at least as long as I knew him), he was a huge advocate and gleeful teller of Dad Jokes.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with. She said yes, all the rest had been nines and tens. I tried to start a professional hide and seek team, but it didn't work out. Turns out, good players are hard to find. Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.”My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste." Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.” In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either. When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime. If greeting card companies were to be believed, the best gifts for dads would all concern race cars, golf, beer or farts. More so than some of the more generic best gifts for men, it can be a seriously tough marketplace for finding presents for your dad, whether it's for his birthday or Christmas. Don't ask us why, but the older he gets, the harder it seems, too; just as selecting one of the best gifts for mum (one that feels neither too old nor too young) seems increasingly impossible. What did one monocle say to the other monocle? Let's get together and make a spectacle of ourselves.They like trendy rap music to get in their wrapping groove. 16. What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker. He must like flying a lot, and he lives in Neverland! 20. Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trum-pet. One-liners are the most versatile tool in the dad-joke toolbox, because the teller doesn't have to wait for any setup. Just drop these into a conversation whenever there's a dull moment. Advent calendars | Alcohol Advent calendars | Gifts for women | Gifts for men | Gifts for mums | Gifts for girlfriends | Gifts for boyfriends | Gifts for friends | Best hampers | Gifts for sisters | Gifts for brothers | Gifts for teens | Gifts for kids Shop GQ's best gifts for dads 2023…
Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Good
In 2017 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2018, 2019, or 2020, either. This is a running joke.
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