The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire (20th Anniversary Edition)

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If you want to become this man—who is neither a King Kong nor a wimp, neither an old-style macho nor an androgynous Mr. Nice Guy—then read on. As Deida says:

This book is a guide for a specific kind of newly evolving man. This man is unabashedly masculine-- he is purposeful, confident, and directed, living his chosen way of life with deep integrity and humor-- and he is sensitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth.Deida’s writing is seductive, and his concepts provide a lot of temporary relief for men who are lost in the areas of purpose, women and sex. What’s Next?

I can sympathise with the Red-Pilled Chad in this regard, but that’s probably only because masculinity is so debased and man are so feminine today, so that attitude redresses the balance, however as a long-term approach I do think the Superior Man approach is better as it speaks to the whole of a man – the King and the Warrior, as the red-pilled chad does, but also the inner Magician and the Lover. We can realize that working on our own feminine energy is just as useful as working on our ability to embrace it in others. Love is a simple equation according to Deida: “If a man is very masculine by nature, then he will be attracted to a very feminine woman, who will complement his energy. The more neutral or balanced he is, the more balanced he will prefer his woman. And, if a man is more feminine by nature, his energy will be complemented by the strong direction and purposiveness of a more masculine woman.” On the subject of women—in part two, Deida explains how a man should deal with them in the proper manner. And he shares seven insights and practical bits of advice: The internet is littered with guys paying homage to red pill teachers and texts for waking them up, allowing them to get girlfriends (or know why they don’t want to), break free of depression and find masculine meaning in their lives.

The Superior Man prioritizes his own purpose; he does not allow the expectations of others to sway him from his path. Shame, guilt, and expectation limit you, burdening you with feelings of fear and unworthiness. The word “lying” is a masculine word, in the sense that only men are consistent and can lie or tell the truth. Women, being emotional, say how they feel at the present moment. “A man’s word is his honor,” says Deida. “A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment.”

Find the limit at which you begin to fear, and live just beyond the edge of it; the Superior Man compassionately challenges his limits without trying to escape the fear itself. Secondly, men are often drawn to men’s work because they’ve been seriously wounded from a relationship of some sort. Usually, they’ve been acting as the mainstream culture has taught them too and either been dumped, cheated on or unable to get a girl to screw them and have turned to a wealth of material that explains to them how women are attracted to independent and strong grown men, not little boys that have to be mothered A mediocre man would move on, to a new job and a new mistress, rejuvenating his life with fresh energy, excitement, and polarization. But, eventually, the novelty wears off and he finds himself once again inhabiting a lifeless, unattractive world. That’s because underneath our know-it-all exterior, men actually don’t have a clue and we’re desperate for answers. We’ll do just about anything for approval from women, and deep inside our egos all want to be seen as the “superior man” — but superior to whom? Other men? Are we really playing into the same kind of unhealthy win-lose competition model that is already the cause of so many of our mental health problems? There is nothing more important than your purpose. Everything else is just a bunch of minutiae. Don’t let yourself get lost in these everyday tasks and duties. Focus on what’s important.

A masculine man’s primary goal will always be his mission, and a feminine woman’s primary goal will always be to maximize the flow of love in her life—this asymmetry can be a major cause of strife. He may be interested in getting with as many women as possible, he may want to ignore women entirely, yet the one thing he will never do is be controlled by a woman. David Deida, a teacher, researcher, and author of 10 books on topics related to the sexual and spiritual growth of men and women, explains that the gender equality that lets us thrive in the workplace fails us in our intimate relationships.

So, while the Superior Man and the Red-Pilled Chad have some undoubtable crossover in that they both think masculinity is a good rather than bad thing as we’re too often told today. However, there are also huge differences, the most obvious being how they treat gender itself. Your mission is your priority,” writes Deida in the first part of The Way of the Superior Man. “Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner.” Where the Superior Man approach tends to focus more on the divine eternal dance between the assertive masculine and creative feminine, both in the form of relationships and even within a man’s own soul, the Red-Pilled Chad tends to look on any feminine traits within a man with utter disdain. The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. Step up to the plate with this book in your hand.”—Tony Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited PowerAsk your friends to challenge you; be open and honest with them about your fears, your struggles, and your situation. Have them identify specific ways in which you could improve, and take their criticism as guidance. Release Your Inhibitions The nuns taught us there are two ways through life. The way of nature and the way of grace. We have to choose which one you’ll follow. Grace doesn’t try to please itself. It accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries. Nature only wants to please itself. Get others to please it too. Likes to lord it over them. To have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy when all the world is shining around it. And love is smiling through all things. They taught us that no one who loves the way of grace ever comes to a bad end.