What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing

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Because every family situation is unique, there cannot be one single blueprint for being a good mother. Mothers struggle with all kinds of practical difficulties to establish and maintain warm relationships with their children. Who would kiss your boo-boos to make it all better if she weren’t around? Mothers have the magic touch (and kiss) to help us heal our wounds, physical and emotional. Another thing every mom does for her kids is love them unconditionally. Mothers know about feelings. They know what unconditional love is, love at first sight, the ideal partner. They’re specialized in attachment, affection, devotion… Good mothers breastfeed—for six days, six weeks, six months, or six years—because they know it’s “best,” because it’s natural, because they have support, because it works, because they made it work, because it’s easier, because it’s really nobody’s business why.

What Mothers Do: Especially When It Looks Like Nothing What Mothers Do: Especially When It Looks Like Nothing

It’s not so much what we do or don’t do, but the love and intention behind the things we do and don’t do that matters most.To the narcissistic mother, appearances are everything. She may construct the false image of being a sweet, loving and charitable person to others all while gossiping about others, engaging in petty one-upping and abusing her children emotionally, physically or even sexually. She enjoys the social status of being a mother without doing the actual maternal work. Miller, A. (2008). The drama of the gifted child: The search for the true self. New York: BasicBooks.

Mother is the Best Person in Your Life 20 Reasons why your Mother is the Best Person in Your Life

Mom taught you to be a functioning adult. That was her job, and without that, making it through the modern world would be very hard. Your mom may have forced you to do your homework, but now you see how important it was. Know to replace things. Like the toilet paper roll that the child just left sitting on top of the roller. Or the paper towels. Or the hand towels. Or the light bulbs in the bathroom burnt out. Or the pencils that are now broken. Or the markers. Or anything. Moms know. I liked this a lot. There is the "mothering is the most important work" platitude, and then there is the "you should really be using your degree/you are just a SAHM/you must not be a feminist" that you get from people. And sometimes you get them from the same person. It could give one whiplash. This book is a great way to center yourself and realize what you are doing, that it is transient and necessary, and that it has value beyond the platitudes. this is the best "parenting" book i have ever read. it is unique in that the author doesn't tell you what you should do. instead the book is all about the things mothers do that frequently do not even have an adequate vocabulary to describe them. it is more: you are probably already doing this to some degree and i am just writing it down.

She interprets the guttural sounds of her little ones, the sulking and sullenness of her adolescents, the hermeticism as they grow. It’s as if she knows the different languages of their feelings. What toxic parents allhave in common is their inability to provide their children with a safe, nurturing, and loving environment. If they are narcissistically abusive, they are without empathy and sometimes even conscience. This type of ruthless behavior has a damaging impact on our early development as well as the way we navigate the world as adults. They are skilled negotiators and can make negotiating not feel like bribery. Even though, shhhh. . . sometimes it just might be. There are times when if you go to bed and fall asleep in the next ten minutes I will give you a dollar is perfectly acceptable. Grace, moms, grace. Her definitions of a mother's work include learning about, listening to her baby; the ability to be constantly interruptable; the socializing of her baby; her worry. The word ‘mother’ refers to a relationship. It means more than doing everyday menial tasks. Each mother creates her own relationship, or conversation, with her baby.

Top 10 Reasons Why Moms Are Important | Psychology Today

But breastfeeding, unfortunately, isn’t always as wonderful as it’s often seen in the movies, or as some mothers claim it to be. Like any narcissist, the narcissistic mother engages in triangulation manufacturing triangles among her children and even their peers. She destructively compares her children to their peers, teaching them that they fall short in terms of looks, personality, obedient behavior, and accomplishments. She unfairly pits two or more siblings against one another, always asking, Why cant you be more like your sister or your brother? She stirs up competition, drama, and chaos. She might make one child a golden child (doting upon them excessively) while making the other a scapegoat. This form of devaluation can leave a painful imprint; it causes her children to compare themselves to others as a way to evaluate their self-worth. 3. She treats her children as extensions of her.Good mothers formula-feed—rarely, occasionally, or always—because they have to, because they want to, because they didn’t have support breastfeeding, because they had support but still couldn’t breastfeed, because it’s familiar, because it’s easier, because the flippin’ pump won’t do what it’s supposed to, because it’s really nobody’s business why. When it comes to giving health and life, postpartum mothers perform extraordinary actions. Make sacrifices Are not afraid to dance in the kitchen, sing out loud, spin in circles, play music, and just have fun to music that they loved in high school Us moms have those moments where we can just make the kids laugh. Let the dishes go for a moment. Or maybe just do the dishes while dancing and being happy. There’s power in that. So find your favorite oldies (hahah. . . aging) channel on Pandora or Spotify and just dance.

Naomi Stadlen is the bestselling author of What Mothers Do

Mother’s Day is a day you get to show your mom (or the mother of your children) how grateful you are that she is in your life. Don’t waste the opportunity. The seventh amazing thing every mom does for her kids is strive for her own self-improvement. Maybe not the improvement of her intellect, but the cultivation of her soul, her manners, her character, her reaction to the stimuli the world gives her. Mom grows to serve as an example.On the other hand, there are some things mothers do that are unbelievable. Things that even though we see them every day and we ourselves put them into practice, deserve to be recognized as magnanimous and worthy of highlighting. We’ll tell you about them in this post. Moms breastfeed even if it’s painful Can take a teen age daughter shopping knowing what to suggest because that won’t be chosen so that the items that you think should be chosen will be chosen. Moms can also with grace redirect away from ridiculous clothing that should never be on a teenagers body. It’s a skill moms. Sometimes we’ll fail. But we do prevail. This is the perfect book for mothers of young babies. Reading it is like having someone give you a hug and reassure you that what you do all day is valid and important.