The Gifts Of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

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Here's what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if, not when, we're worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.” So I'm just going to be honest and vulnerable with you all. I have issues with not being good enough, being vulnerable, and not being worthy because I'm not what society says I should be. However, with this book, which reads more like an epiphany than a self help book, I'm coming to realize that no one is perfect, and you know what? That's ok. So.., now, with tons of time on my hands to read..(home in my Pink leg cast)... I said to myself.... I'm getting tired of all the ra-ra blah-blah books about Courage and Compassion and Mindfulness and living from the heart etc. etc. Life is often a bit more complicated than that. Maybe I really am turning into a grumpy old woman. You may have noticed a theme in my last couple posts. I'm rundown, overwhelmed and I realize that, while my priorities are right in my head, they aren't in reality. So the book I'm reviewing today really came at a perfect time in my own personal crisis. In fact, as I was reading along yesterday (yes, I totally procrastinated reading it due to other books taking up my precious little reading time) I thought to myself, "This book could be companion material for President Uchtdorf's talk at conference!" (I'm making President Uchtdorf's talk my personal touchstone until I really get it, by the way.)(Because I really don't get it yet.)

I was also curious how Brown defines authencity. Brown, a struggling perfectionist, defines authenticity as "the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." Embracing who we are means accepting that we are not perfect, loving ourselves for who we are, and seeking meaningful connection. She talks about wholehearted living and says that people when overwhelmed, should DIG (Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, and stating their intentions; be Inspired to make new and different choices, and get Going. They should take action). She also talks about the idea of judging whether or not another person is authentic and comes to the conclusion that this is not a trait that people have or don't have - it is a practice of how we want to live. She doesn't bridge the gap between others judgments of our authenticity and being truly authentic and discuss how there can be a “disconnect”. This book is clearly in the cheerleading category of self-help, rather than the psychotherapeutic. If you want some mild encouragement and some cute quotes to put on your fridge door, maybe this is for you. If you are struggling with darker issues, you probably won't find answers here. To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.” The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. Well, it’s difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us. This research has taught me that if we really want to practice compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior."Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.” Guidepost #7: Cultivating Play and Rest – Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth. I don't normally read books found in the self-help category. Nothing against the category; I've just found that my path to self-knowledge needs a different process. Still, every few years I give one a try, and a friend's review of The Gifts of Imperfection happened to catch me at the right moment. It was serendipitous because I was just at the moment where this made a profound impact. Update: I thought this book was 'fair'. The structure of the chapters was too repetitive. Plus, more personal stories needed to be added to make the book feel more human.

Sufficiency isn't two steps up from poverty or one step short of abundance. It isn't a measure of barely enough or more than enough. Sufficiency isn't an amount at all. It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough, and that we are enough.” Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (2012) I shall now summarize the book's precepts: Feel Good About Yourself. Be Compassionate and Grateful. Blah blah Laugh Dance Love blah blah. Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: “Who has earned the right to hear my story?”The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown is a book we all need to read. I admit, that whole thing about Who I Am vs. Who I Am Supposed to Be gets me every time. I think it's a fine line between embracing things I shouldn't embrace and being okay with where I am right now. I think that I should strive to be better, and maybe Who I Am is not good enough. So, I admittedly bristled a bit at the subtitle there. The author references a lot of other researchers and their work. Their conclusions were some of the more insightful parts of the book. Brené spends most of her time working in organizations around the world, helping develop braver leaders and more courageous cultures. I had more insights into myself while reading this book than I have had in a really long time. Shameful really. But I will own my weaknesses. You'll see. And it dawned on me that maybe we all feel like this to an extent. And yet, I watch others and I am sure, absolutely sure, that they know something about living that I don't. And maybe they do...maybe they've figured out the secret that it's okay to be imperfect. But maybe they haven't.